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Free - Printable - Funny Quotes

Find the quote that's just right for any situation or need!
Click the links below to browse free quotes you can print and keep with you, or give with a gift (or as a gift) to a friend, loved one, or colleague!
You can always have funny quotes in your pocket!

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
~Mae West

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes;
There is too much fraternizing with the enemy.
~Henry Kissinger

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking
the imagination and bottling the common sense.
~Helen Rowland

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
~H.L. Mencken

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
~Lily Tomlin

I threw love at the wall and it bounced back and slapped me in the face.
~Monica Silber

A man loved by a beautiful woman will always get out of trouble.

Any man who can drive safely
while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss
the attention it deserves.
~Albert Einstein

Saving love doesn't earn any interest.
~Mae West

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
~H.L. Mencken


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